The Sasquatch Times

SISKIYOU WILDERNESS | SIX RIVERS NATIONAL FOREST, CA.

A Sasquatch makes public appearance to address a half century old rumor that the PATTERSON – GIMLIN film footage was staged.

”I apologize for appearing out of the woodwork today unannounced to address such a dated topic,” the bigfooted cryptid told the only journalist in the area. The creature preferred to be referred to as – Big Dan.

“I’ve heard that the camera footage from 1967 is fraudulent. I feel that at this time, it is vitally important that I clarify that a man in primate costume was not the subject of that October footage, it was me,” confessed Dan.

”It was me!”

“I can’t believe humans didn’t believe the footage was real,” Dan went on. “I was approached by a few guys who asked if I could walk quickly across a clearing and slightly look over my shoulder with concern on my face. They were looking for a more aggressive tone, but I just couldn’t pull it off and make it seem real. I think the film makers were satisfied with the end result, it really captured that caught on camera vibe they were looking for.”

Big Dan went on to say that he was paid handsomely for his participation in the Pat – Gim film. Dan and the journalist bartered a few rations and discussed the rise in UFO/UAP sightings before parting ways.